Testimonies - Sr. Nida Fe Chavez, CSJ

Roots

You will find my roots in Manila, Philippines, where I was born prematurely on April 19th. I grew up with my younger sister and three brothers in a simple neighbourhood in Makati, Metro Manila. Both my parents originated from the province of Cuenca, Batangas. It was here that I enjoyed my school breaks with my grandparents, relatives, and cousins who lived at the foot of a mountain.

Baptismal Call

I felt the call to become a Sister when I was in high school. I told my family and friends about my desire — there was no opposition or encouragement. I was 15 years old then. I did not, however, pursue it, because a stronger desire to help my family was irresistible.

Life in Toronto

Back home in the Philippines, I knew only a simple yet happy life. I was surprised when I arrived in Toronto in March 1988. There was an abundance of food, water and electricity. When I turned on the tap, there was water — anytime of the day! My first reaction was to get a container to save the water just in case water ran out. People in Toronto did not know that their "basic needs" are considered luxuries in other countries like the Philippines. With this thought came my desire to share this luxury with my family. In 1991, my parents and three brothers joined me in Toronto. Years went by and life was good. I enjoyed my job at Sanwa Bank Canada in the Loans and General Administration Departments. My two brothers got married and had children. Eventually, my sister and her family joined us in 1995. Finally, my joy was complete because the whole family was reunited - my parents, siblings, in-laws, nephews and nieces. I was very grateful to God for the bountiful blessings that my family and I received. Interestingly, religious life never entered my mind.

Restlessness

Days after I came back from a holiday cruise in the Isles of Greece in July 1997, I felt restless. I could not explain the reason for my restlessness — it seemed something was missing in my life. At this point, I knew that getting married or having my own family was not what I wanted. Then, I realized I was searching for meaning in my life — my baptismal call beckoned to me!

Response

In my weariness, I knew I needed a place of refuge and I found myself one evening at St. Martin de Porres Parish in Scarborough. There, I met Sr. Mary Rose Marrin CSJ and I shared with her my desire of high school days to become a Sister. I asked her if I would still be eligible to apply now that I was 37. I believe she said yes. One thing led to another and I met Sr. Pat Boucher CSJ, Vocation Director. She lived in a community on Walmer Road in Toronto. I also met other Sisters who lived at Walmer Road, where I joined other women for prayer and supper twice a month. Through participation in these prayer gatherings and weekend retreats, I found God's presence in my life and was able to share it with others. I also went for spiritual direction and through this, I learned about my relationship with God and God's love for me. Candidly speaking, my restlessness disappeared. My friends told me I was glowing and thought I had a boyfriend. I was truly peaceful and joyful having found the desire of my heart — and that must have reflected in my eyes. Consequently, with Sr. Pat, I started discerning God's call to search out if religious life was really what I wanted.

Struggles

I moved in with the Sisters at Walmer Road on April 18, 1998 and on May 21, 1998, my mother suddenly had a stroke. She was in a coma until May 27th when she died. With this tragic event in my life, I could not continue with my discernment, so I went back home. With the help of many people, including Fr. Cel Reyes S.J., I was able to work on my feelings of grief and anger around my mother's death. Through the sacrament of reconciliation, I found myself healed and embraced by God's love.

My journey continues...

During this time, I volunteered in the parish as pastoral visitor, lector, Eucharistic minister, RCIA sponsor, member of the bereavement group, millennium group and Out of the Cold program at St. Michael's Cathedral. I found volunteering to be life-giving and it was a faith-growth experience for me. One year later, I was ready to discern religious life again and on October 2, 2000, I became a candidate with the Sisters of St. Joseph.

Novitiate

Following 15 months as a candidate, I was received as a novice on January 18, 2002. The Novitiate was a very precious time where I found the space to deepen my relationship with God, with Jesus and the Holy Spirit as well as becoming rooted in the charism, history, and mission of my congregation. I spent eight months in Framingham, Massachusetts, in the U.S. Federation Novitiate together with four other novices of the Sisters of St. Joseph from Los Angeles, St. Louis, Boston and Chambery (Connecticut). We discovered that although we came from different congregations, we have the same charism and that we are one in our desire to follow God's will for us.

First Profession

It was a joyful and moving ceremony when I made first profession as a Sister of St. Joseph of Toronto on January 24, 2004. I promised to live the vow of chastity by loving tenderly with compassion and without distinction. By acting justly, I promised to live the vow of poverty — by living with the minimum bearing in mind social justice as well as eco-justice. To live the vow of obedience, I promised to walk humbly with God — by being receptive to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit through communal discernment.

God's Plan

In retrospect, I could see God's plan for me unfolding before my eyes. However, it was in my openness to respond, to take the risks and to trust in God that I found meaning and joy in my life. As a late vocation, I had to let go of my material possessions. In return, I received more than what I gave up in terms of my relationship with God and my neighbours. It was worth letting go and letting God be in charge of my life. What I realized was that "when I fell in love with God, I also fell in love with the people around me and all of God's creation - my neighbours - especially the marginalized."

I believe religious life is not for everybody. It is part of our baptismal call.

My Words to You

If you feel that God is calling you to religious life, I hope you will have the grace and the courage to respond with freedom and trust God's plan for you. As for me, like St. Augustine, my heart was restless till it rested in God.

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